Bedsharing, and Why I Do It

 Ask me, and I'll tell you.  I bedshare with my son.

**GASP**

But I have my reasons...

Abraham sleeps with Daddy, while I keep a watchful eye.

I originally hadn't planned on sleeping with Abraham in our bed, I knew the risks associated with SIDS, I had a bassinet pushed right beside my bed for room-sharing.  But then we brought him home...

Abraham nursed, and nursed, and nursed.  Sometimes for four hours straight.  My milk hadn't come in yet, and my 8 lb 9 oz boy needed more than colostrum.  I was exhausted.  I couldn't hold him safely anymore.  

Then my mom showed me how to nurse side-lying.  I would occasionally dose off while he nursed (please remember he was nursing for hours straight, with only half an hour between feedings most of the time) and my mom would come into our room to wake me.  I have the best mom in the world.  She stayed with us the first week and waited on me hand and foot.  I don't know how I would have managed without her.

Once I had finally slept enough to regain my energy, (thanks to Mom cradling Abraham for several hours) I continued nursing him side-lying at night.  I tried for at least a week still, putting Abe in his bassinet once he slept, but he was always awake within an hour, screaming just to be beside me.  While he slept, I panicked.  My little one would shove his face into the side of his bassinet, and I felt the need to check his breathing every two minutes.  I decided to give bedsharing a shot.  We fell into a rhythm, and soon babe and Mommy were sleeping and waking at the same times, in the same bed.

I educated myself, looked up as many resources as I could.  I read Dr. Sears' work and took all the precautions for bedsharing.  

Taken from the Canadian Paediatric Society website:

"Bedsharing is different from solitary sleeping, especially for young infants, because of the complex auditory, visual, tactile, thermal and olfactory stimuli resulting from the close proximity of the parent. According to the arousal deficiency theory, mother and infant bedsharing promotes infant arousals, which may be protective to infants at risk of SIDS (11,12). While bedsharing, infants have less deep sleep than when they sleep alone (13). The responsiveness of the mother to infant arousals during bedsharing might also be protective (14,15). These hypotheses need to be researched further.

 

Breastfed infants who share a bed with their mother feed more often and for a longer duration than solitary sleeping infants (16). La Leche League International encourages mothers to relax and breastfeed in bed, even if mother and baby fall asleep together, which can easily occur (17). When bedsharing and breastfeeding occur together, certain benefits can be derived by both mother and infant: mothers enjoy a close night-time relationship with their young child, who might then be more inclined to continue breastfeeding (18,19), and weaning a bedsharing child is not very different from weaning a child who sleeps separately (16).

Recent studies have attempted to estimate the prevalence of infants sleeping in adult beds. While there are no available Canadian data, the results of a survey conducted by the National Infant Sleep Position Study (NISP) (20) demonstrated that bedsharing is increasing in the United States and the proportion of infants sharing an adult bed doubled between 1993 and 2000 (5.5% to 12.8%)."

Couple that with other data, taken from the fall 2009 issue of Today's Parent Pregnancy:

"In the Western world, the incidence of bed sharing has increased during the same period that the incidence of SIDS has declined."

Dr. Sears  has some wonderful outlines on how to keep baby safe whilst bedsharing.  

For Antoni and I it came easily.  I don't sleep with a pillow at night, so they were already far from Abe.  He naturally rolled onto his back once he was done eating, and Antoni preferred to sleep beside me, instead of beside Abe.  (This might have to do with Abraham kicking Daddy over and over again in bed, while awake!)  I hate having blankets totally covering me, and we like a cool bedroom.  Abraham loves being in this cuddly, warm sleepers, and needs only my body heat and the bed sheet besides.  Now that he's moving so much, we have guardrails for our bed.

Eventually, Abraham will have to sleep in his own crib, especially when we're blessed with another pregnancy.  Until then, I'm happy to share my bed with my little monster.  SIDS is absolutely tragic, and I want to prevent it as best I can.  You may not agree at all.  And I respect your opinion. Bedsharing isn't for everyone, but for me, it is possible to safely share the bed with my baby.  Educate yourselves.  And have a comfortable night's sleep.

**Disclaimer: The Canadian Paediatric Society does not encourage bedsharing.  If you choose to bedshare, please do so within their guidelines.